Confessions of A Homewrecker

Revelation just strike my brain like lightning. For a while now I have found myself crushing on young ladies already in relationships... relationships with their painful pasts. Does that still make me a homewrecker o_O ? Lol ok, ok seriously though, me crushing on young ladies with painful pasts, the old me would curse God and shake my fist at the heavens over this, over my rotten luck; of course I would like a girl who's still grapiling with past relationship demons, of course. I could feel real sorry for myself and shut down, just like I always used to.

But I wont ;-]

That was the old me, case in point, OLD. I'm new now, more mature, I don't fly off the handle anymore or turn on God as soon as I don't get MY way. Not anymore.

Truth is I thought the girls was pretty... gorgeous... great smile... nice laugh... great fashion sense... a level head on her shoulders... a passion for God burning in her belly... big dreams... a nice family... accepts me for me and so on and so forth. Truth is that's all still true; poor girl is just in need of some healing =/ That's all, she still needs time to heal, to polish herself up, to allow the intensity of the past to shape and mold her into a stronger and wiser version of herself, her future self, that self that will never back down, pray hard and soar above all the B.S.. And I never want to be a hinderance to her growth.

She just needs the time to heal.

Obviously since most of these young women in the pastt have told me their problem or expressed in some way shape or form. She's clearly fighting. Reminds me of Lupe Fiasco's 'Fighters'; dude I love that song, gotta listen to those lyrics again.

So yeah I'm not mad and I mean NO disrespect to these girls wherever they may be in their lives now. none of them will probably ever know these things went through my mind. I'm just growing up is all. I gotta cling to this attitude though because it is so tempting to turn back to old mindsets. But I need to hold the course and let these lessons make into the man my Heavenly Father desires to introduce me to one day.

Always remember her healing... their healing... anyone's healing is way more important than Josiah... yeah healing is way more important ^_^

EL FIN